Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Joins Glee Club
by ilvecoffee-n-narutoYOUTH
Summary: What happens when Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is forced to join Glee Club with a bunch of 'Poser Muggle Preps? Nothing good, I can tell you that. -Fourshot- Rated T for Language
1. Chapter 1

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth****: Hey guys! I know I should be working on A Newer Direction (my other glee story), but we're having exams now, and I've been really stressed and GLARP! But this was kind of calming. This isn't a real crossover, but Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way was in a Harry Potter fic (if you could call it that) so voila! If you haven't read My Immortal: Bring Me To Life, you need to. You really need to. Well, here it is, I hope you like it. But before you read it, EEEEEEEHHHHHH! Blaine told Kurt he loved him! Ah! It was actually a pretty good season finale, and I was loving My Cup by Brittany and Artie.**

_**Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Joins Glee Club**_

**(**_**And The Songbirds are singing, like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you like never before.**_**)**

I walked gothically down the hallway, my ebony black waist-length hair (that's how I got my name) flowing behind me in turnips. My hair also had red streaks in it that turned purple when it reached the tips of my hair. It was so fucking gothic. I was wearing a black corset that had sleeves made of fishnet. The strings that tightened the corset were made of red lace that gave me such a tragically gothic look. I had on a black torn leather mini skirt and a ton of studded belts, fishnet stockings that were red and black, and a pair of pink poser heels that I had taken a sharpie to and written 'Pozr bitches suxxx' all over it. Around my neck I had on a belt that I had stolen from Hottopic because they were starting to get all preppy. It was too small so now it's a necklace. I had on giant red and black cross shaped earrings with a mummified gothic skeleton crucified on it. Bitchin'! I had my vampire makeup on which was a ton of eyeliner and black shimmery eye shadow on my eyelids and under my eyes. It was my racoon look and the eye shadow was smudged, but I left it there to show how smudged my soul was because I was a vampire. My eye shadow was the 'Crying Darkness!' shade. And when you say 'Crying Darkness!' you have to scream it.

Since I had killed my vampire parents again, they decided I needed to join an extra-culinary activity. So she put me in Glee club with a bunch of poser muggle bitches.

I stomped sexily into the glee club room.

"Parlez-vous français, bitches. That's hello in French. I'm here go join glee club posers!" I extradited seductively.

"Oh my Gaga, what in McQueen's name are you wearing?"

I would describe what he's wearing, but he's not important. Though, he was extremely sexy. He looked just like a combination of Gerard Way and Billy Joe Armstrong. Which was extremely hot. I subpoenaed.

"Shut your mouth you Avril Lavigne poser prep bitch! The devil speaks from me obviously. LUCIFER, COME AND TAKE ME!" I yelled contagiously because he was being such a pozr. I flipped him off.

"Oh HELL to the no!" The black girl that was sitting next to him stood up. "You better keep that mouth shut before I put my foot down your throat and shut it for you!'

"C'mon then poser muggle bitch! Let's fight. I killed that pedo, Remus when I caught him masticating at my window, so I can take you!"

"What the hell is masticating?" She asked happily.

I dramatically threw myself to the ground and screamed Victorianly.

The Billy Joe Armstrong guy spoke up. He was so hot, just like a bi guy.

"Masticating is chewing loudly. I do believe she meant _masturbating_."

A blonde girl in the back stood up.

"She looks like the clown that snuck into my house last night." She looked like that prep Britney Spears. She made me feel thirsty.

"Hey!" I whispered heavily. "Does anyone know where I can get some Count Chocula cereal and some human blood?"

"Okay." The teacher guy stood up modelly and sexically. "I'm afraid you're going to have to leave. Are you even a student here?"

"No, I transferred to Pigfarts Intergalactic School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with my boyfriend Draco Malfoy. It's on Mars. You need a rocket ship to get there!"

"Yeah, you have to leave."

"Fine!" I tossed my tragically gothic hair then walked away sluttily. No one understood me! I'd have to go home and cut my wrist, and then I'd go and cut my boyfriend's wrist. Then he'll put his you-know-what into my thing-a-ma-jig, and we'll drink each other's blood.

**(More of a friend than a silly pup, my cup. You know what it is. Sayin' what's up to my cup AAAH!)**

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed it and please, please, please review. Do if for my cup!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth****: Hey guys! I really can't believe I decided to do another chapter of this, but I just felt like one more chapter would be alright (and I believe at least one person asked for another one). You know, I like **_**killed**_** my brain cells writing both chapters of this because every time I write for this I re-read My Immortal Bring Me To Life. Anyway here's the final installment (including an original song written my Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way herself). Oh and to the person who flamed my story: stop flamin mah story u prep (just kidding)!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, or Eboby.**

**Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Joins Glee Club**

**(Rat-tat-tat-tat on your dum-dum drum the beat so fat gonna make me come-um-um-um over to your place)**

The next day I woke up goffikally from my pink Latin coffin and jumped sardonically out of it. I was still so fucking angry at those stupid Hillary Duff wannabe's from trying to keep me out of their stupid muggle club. So I told my mom and then she authentically put me in school (then I killed her stupid bitch face again). I trolloped to my closet and put on a floor length black leather dress that had Nicole Richie's ugly face on it with an arrow sticking out of her head on it and my black combat boots that had blood-red spikes on them. I covered my arms in black bangles and then put on my official goff makeup on. I put on my white face powder on that was the 'Sheet of Paper' shade. Then I took my eyeliner and drew tears under my eyes to show how insanely goff I was and how no one understood me because I didn't let people in because I didn't want to associate with those Avril Lavigne bitches. I looked at my long Ebony dark hair (again, how I got my name. I changed my name to Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way because I didn't want to go by my slave name anymore, which was Tara) and decided that I wanted a new hairstyle so I cut it aseismically so that one end was at my shoulder and the other end was the same length. The middle parts were all different lengths so it gave my a tragically misunderstood look. After putting on my long velvet coat, I got in my car that had a '666' licence plate that my boyfriend Draco Malfoy gave me when he transferred to Pigfarts. He stole the licence plate though because we're both Klepto's and that makes us fucking hot.

-**Glee (even though it's totally loozer preppy)-**

When I got to the school I had to push a couple of preps out of my way then I gave them the middle finger and I sashayed hotly into the Glee club room.

"Sweet McQueen, she's back." The really hot gay boy said from the back of the room. He looked just like the lead singer of Panic! At the Disco except not so fucking gothic today. "What happened to your hair?"

"Obviously Satan guided me into the perfect haircut, but a poser muggle bitch head like you wouldn't understand how to be hot and look like Hayley Williams like I do."

Then the teacher from yesterday stomped into the room and angrily tossed his coat on the chair. He looked just like Joel Madden right then I wanted to rape him so bad.

"What are you doing back here?"

"My mom made me an official student here after I killed her again. So I'm here to audition. So Douzu Yoroshiku bitch. That's Japanese for I told you so bitch."

"Hell no Mr. Schue!" The black girl from yesterday stood up. "She's up in here talking about how she worships the devil. We can't let her in this club!"

Of course she wouldn't understand. Enveloping the devil makes you so fucking goth even the most fucking goth people are afraid of you. Because your goth. Duh. She's such a Hufflepuff. What the hell is a hufflepuff anyway, though? But she's still one, even if I don't know what it is. But I'm goffick, so I don't have to be smart, just hot.

"Well I'm sorry Mercedes," the teacher screamed exceptionally. "But we can't discriminate based on religion here. Legally we have to let her audition." He turned to me bitterly. "So why don't you introduce yourself to the club again and tell us what you're going to sing."

I cleared my throat sexily before I began. "Well my name is Enoboly-"

"Wait," I blonde haired girl with green eyes who looked just like that moronolly blonde bitch Paris Hilton interrupted me bitchily. " I thought she said her name was Ebony yesterday."

"That's what I said," I nodded euphuistically. "My name's Tara. Anyway I'll be singing a sadistically gothic song that I wrote especially for today."

"You write songs." A short mouse girl said upsetly.

"Yeah it's named after me. It's called: Enoby's Song. It's so goffick!" I pulled a sheet of paper out of my velvet pocket and began to sing:

"_In my head I tend to hear a lot of voices_

_They always say that I need to kill my mother._

_I get no help, and I get no other options._

_So the voices turned out to be a bother._

_I put a knife to her throat._

_All I could think was:_

'_Die, Die you stupid bitch.'_

_Tied her in a trash bad_

_Then I threw her in a ditch._

_***I laughed evilly here***_

_My name is Tara, and this is my story._

_It sucks to be me, sucks to be Enonie._

_Why Am I so Hot? Why am I so awesome?_

_It really is such a tragedy._

_YEAH! ALL HAIL LUCIFER!_"

I looked around the room sadly to see everyone staring at me evilly.

"In the name of every single designer out there, and the ones I don't know, someone _please _call the police."

"And damn it!" A Mexican girl stood up. "What the hell is her name anyway! Ebony, Eboby, Tara! Bitch don't know me. I'm from Lima Heights. I'm not afraid to cut a bitch."

"No bitch, you don't know me! I know the devil, he made me the gardener I am today. I can summon his powers and cast a spell on you. _THOU ART A PREP!_"

"I'll show you a prep when you've got razor blades under your fingernails."

"I already put razor blades under them. The devil and my boyfriend request me to do it to show my undying love!"

"Kurt!" The extremely hot teacher said. "Go get the school resource officer quick!"

"You don't know me!" I sobbed. "When I was a baby I was baptized and when they sprinkled the water on me, it started to boil." They just don't understand that I'm goffick and I cut myself each day, then I let my boyfriend drink my blood and I drink his. Then when we're about to have the secks, I take a bath in a tub of ice to make me seem dead.

"Yeah Kurt, go get Principal Figgins too."

**(It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend.)**

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: So that's it. I know it's probably not as good as the original one, but what the heck! I really wanted you guys to here the song. Read and review please. They keep my brain from turning to mush.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth****: Special fangs (geddit!) to everyone who asked for more chapters. I'm raising my glass to you. Also, I apologize to anyone who I didn't reply back to their reviews. I swear I'll get around to it. So stop flaming mah story preps!**

**(I'm really good at wasting time, I think lyrics need to rhyme, and you're not asking, but I'm trying to grow a moustache.)**

As I majestically walked through the school doors, I stomped my black leather boots that that the totally hot gay dude's face on them. I tightened the strings on my black leather trench-coat as I stood in front of the glee club door. I had an innuendo announcement to make that would change everything. I quietly pulled out a small, black mirror out of my pocket to check that my makeup was at goffick extreme. I had decided to be born this way (even if Lady Gaga was totally mainstream and a pozer bitch-face) and paint a black skull on my face. I was so goffick that I scared a stupid brat muggle that lived next to my coffin, so I flipped her off. I sexily opened the door and walked fashionably to stand in the centre of the room. Everyone stared at me like I was the hottest person on the planet. Why! Why can't I just be horribly ugly like everyone else in the club! It's a curse, just like Vampire Potter's scar that we turned into a pentagram, because we're Illuminati like that. Yeah, bitches.

"Where did you even come from?" The black girl who usually sat next to my gay guy asked, conspiratorially.

"The seventh layer of hell." I hissed at her and then I flipped her off.

"You make me feel like praying!" The supah-hot gay dude that looked just like Gerard Way started, "I am one-hundred percent an atheist, but I want to pray for you. You really _must_ be possessed by the devil to even _consider _doing that to your face."

"That's why I'm here." I whispered seductively. "The devil got me pregnant, so I'm having a baby." I awesomely threw my trench coat to the floor and pointed at my stomach. "See?"

"I don't _see_ anything." He rolled his eyes at me.

"THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A MUGGLE!" I screamed anxiously and threw myself to the ground. "YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT I'M AWESOMELY HOT AND YOU'RE JUST MUGGLE BITCHES."

"You syphilis-carrying gutter slut." The blonde-haired Paris Hilton wannabe with the green eyes said. "Don't you have an asylum to haunt or something."

This little whore slut bitch thought that she could insult me, so I got right in her face and screamed prettily. "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT? You're just jealous that I'm super hot and a witch _and _a vampire and your just a pozer pedo! AND SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!"

"Oh. My. Gaga."

"It's official 'Hug-A-Bitch Day' and OMFG, gay guy, I totally saw you talking to that pedophile outside of the school yesterday. Can I suck your blood?"

"Yo Kurt, dude, what pedo?"

"I totally have no idea what she's talking about!"

"Yeah you do," I interrupted them hotly. "You were having sexual intercourse in the forbidden forest because you loved him!"

Everyone then started screaming about mental images so I started screaming over them, and I walked up to Kurt and started singing Like It's Her Birthday by Good Charlotte to him.

"Stop singing!" He laughed menacingly. "You sound like a, like an ignorant mother fucker!" Next thing I knew, I was hit in the head by something hard, and everything went black.

**(Chris Colfer's first word was 'Oprah'. I think I may love him even more now.)**

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: Well here's the next instalment. The chapter after this will probably be the last one, and it's not gonna be from Ebony's (or is it Eboby, or Tara) point of view. Please review. Do it for the Hufflepuffs! I apologize for the all around suckiness of this chapter, but eh!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth****: Well, here it is, the last chapter. It's kind of long, but I just had to have it come to a good ending, so it just got longer and longer, but three pages isn't that long, right? I actually had fun writing this story, and I want to thank anyone who read this, especially to the reviewer who suggested this story, and to all who told me to continue. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Glee (wish I did) and I don't own Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (SOOOOOOO glad I don't)**

**(Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. Do you know you're unlike any other?) **

Everyone gasped as they looked at Kurt, standing over the unconscious body of Ebony, tightly clutching a book in his hands. He looked like he was about to go into shock.

"Damn Hummel," Santana smirked as she started filing her hands.. "What did you do?"

"I-I didn't mean to. It was an accident. How much damage can a book do?"

"Apparently a lot Kurt," Rachel said as she kneeled next to Ebony. She wiped the blood from the cut on Tara's head wound from her hand on the carpet, then shuddered. "She's dead."

"Badass Kurt!" Puck held his hand out for Kurt to high five him, but Rachel glared at him.

"It's not _badass_, Noah, it's homicide."

"Actually man-hands, I think that'd be manslaughter. It was unpremeditated: a crime of passion." The Latina girl stopped filing her nails as everyone stared at her. "What? I watch a lot of Law and Order."

"It doesn't matter what it is. All I care about is _not_ going to jail. Someone get me a trash bag."

"Kurt!" Rachel shrieked. "We have to go to the police."

"No, Berry, we don't have to do anything. _You _have to keep your hellish mouth shut, while I hide the body."

"Kurt, dude," Finn looked around the room in obvious distress. He wasn't quite sure what was going on. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

Kurt gave Finn his best 'Ice-Bitch' glare. "Do you want to join Ebony in the trash bag? I've already killed once today, I doubt a second time would make that much of a difference. Double homicide, bitch?" Finn's face drained of colour, and he didn't say anything else to Kurt.

"Noah, do you think you can get a trash bag in here?" He asked the mohawked teen.

"Sure, princess." He stood, flexed his 'guns' once, then walked out the door, probably towards the janitor's closet.

"Wait," Brittany yelled out, reminding everyone that she was still in the classroom. "Where is Mr. Schue?"

**-Meanwhile at Eboby's house-**

A loud banging could be heard coming from a coffin in the living room.

"Help! Help! Can anyone hear me?" His voice sounded hoarse, as if he'd been screaming for a couple of hours. "I've got to get to my school for Glee club! Help!"'

"Shut the fuck up!" A woman who looked eerily similar to Enoby said as she was sitting on top of the coffin. "Nobody cares about your damn glee club. Say one more thing and I'm burning this house to the ground."

**-Back at McKinley-**

"It's doesn't matter, Brittany. He's better off gone for now." Kurt pushed his bangs out of his eye. "Where the hell is Noah!"

"Right here, lady." Puck said as he walked through the door with a black trash bag crumpled in his fist.

"Good," Kurt walked over to Puck and took the trash bag from him, then closed and locked the classroom door with the key he took off of Mr. Schue's desk. "Now Noah, Finn, help me lift her into the bag.

"Hell no!" Puck screamed. "That shit's too hot. I'm not touching that."

"You stole an ATM, Puckerman," Kurt glared. "You've been to juvie for Grilled Cheesus's sake! You shouldn't have a problem putting a body in a bag. Pretend she's a blow up doll or something."

"Yeah, Puck, I don't want my step-brother going to jail. Who's gonna give me warm milk then?"

"Fine whatever." He grumbled.

"Okay!" Kurt clapped his hands together once, in delight. "Mercedes, can you help me hold the bag open while they lift it in?"

"Kay, white boy." Mercedes held one end of the bag open, while Kurt had the other, then Noah and Finn dumped the body into the bag with a huff.

"She's heavy for a white bitch." Puck massaged his fingers.

"You can't talk about a woman like that, Noah!" Rachel said.

"That thing," Kurt sneered. "Is not a lady. It's a harpy. Hmm, Rachel, she just might be related to you."

"Real funny, Hummel." Rachel said, as everyone laughed.

"Boys, can you two take the trash bag out to the garbage can? Now all we have to worry about is getting the blood out of the carpet."

**-Glee-**

"Hey look it's Jewfro!" Azimio yelled as he and his partner in crime, Karofsky, cornered the boy against his locker.

"Z, did you read the last 'blog' this loser put up on that stupid website of his?"

"I sure did K. I do believe it said something along the lines that we were: dumb Neanderthals."

"I-I-I didn't even use your names! You can't say that it's about you." Karofsky punched the locker area right next to Jacob's head, making him jump.

"We're not idiots, and I do believe you've just earned yourself a trip to the dumpster." Karofsky grabbed his legs, and Azimio grabbed his upper body and began to carry him down the school hallways.

"Please no, this is a new shirt."

"What do you boys think you are doing?" A strong Indian accent interrupted them. They all turned around to see Principal Figgins standing behind them.

"Uh," Azimio started.

"Z and I were just…congratulating Jacob here on his first successful blog post."

Figgins looked from Jacob's frightened face to Azimio to Karofsky and back to Jacob who was shaking his head no slightly. "Very well then, carry on." He walked back down the hallway to stop one of the Hockey players from slushying a member of the chess team. The two boys smirked and then marched Jacob out the school doors and threw him in the nearest dumpster. Then they walked away laughing.

"Ugh!" Jacob yelled, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "It smells like Casey Anthony in here." He reached his hands up to try and pull himself up into a standing position, but he saw something wet covering his hands, so he wiped them off on his jeans. From the little sunlight coming into the garbage can, he could see that it was red. "What the hell?"

With a shaking hand, he reached towards the only bag in the trashcan and pulled slightly on it, since it wasn't even tied. A pale arm flopped out of the bag, followed by a loud shriek.

**-Glee-**

Police sirens could be heard all over the school as about six squad cars and the Medical Examiner surrounded the garbage can. Most of the students were also at the scene, along with the glee club. Kurt was currently reminding them to keep their mouths shut, or they could join her in the seventh level of hell. When the detectives had pulled the body out of the garbage can and laid her on the ground, one of the detectives let out a scream of triumph.

"Finally! Someone killed this bitch!" He pumped his fist and threw his hat in the air. All of the gleeks looked on in shock.

"Wait, this is Ebony, isn't it?" The medical examiner leaned down closer to her face. "Good god it is Ebony! Finally!"

"Hallelujah!"

"Thank you, Jesus, just, thank you."

"If the person who killed this demon is here, please step forward. We want to thank you." After about a minute, Kurt hesitantly stepped forward. Everyone who was assigned to the case bowed down at his feet.

"You are a hero young man! You just don't know how happy we are that you did this!"

"So, I'm not going to jail?"

"Superheroes don't get thrown in jail."

**-End-**

**(So how come when I reach out my fingers, it feels like more than just distance between us?) **

**Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth****: Wow, I think "Double homicide, bitch?" was my favourite line. Well, how did you like the story as a whole? Please review and tell me. Do it so that Ebony stays dead and doesn't return as a ghost to haunt the glee club. We don't want another Moaning Myrtle. **


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